Archive Monthly Archives: October 2009

Breaking out of the box

You know, for years, I was locked into some patterns. The worst thing about that is, I didn’t know there was such a thing let alone that I was inside them. You don’t know what you don’t know right?  What do I mean by all of that? Well, I grew up with the idea that you go to school, work hard, do the right things by people, and that gets you ahead

(whatever that means).

I created something of a silo for myself with my choices of college major, career, and types of relationships. People tell you things as you grow up and if you trust those people or they are authority figures in your life…wham, they become your belief system…for many people, it stays that way until they die.

For instance, when I was married, I was told by my in-laws that they believed that “you choose your profession, you get good at it,  and you work until you retire. You get weekends and vacations off to go golfing or whatever, and that’s that.” Needless to say, my wife at the time was not too happy whenever I would talk about changing my career from Fedex. Fedex offered safety and security, a steady paycheck, medical benefits, etc.

But that job almost killed me. I’m going to tell you some parts of my story I haven’t written before here. During those years in my 30’s,  I”ve got a broken down body, I hate my job, I’m abusing alcohol and I’m shutting out my wife in our relationship because I don’t know how to deal with emotion.  I’m totally entrenched in my silo and doing everything I can to FORCE my programmed belief system to work for me and the harder I try, the worse it gets. I’m pounding in a square peg into a round hole.

Honest to gosh here, the only thing that knocked me into sense was pain that I finally could not take anymore plus the idea that I might literally be dying. I HAD to do SOMETHING!

I went to my doctor for a bronchial infection and back pain. After asking me a bunch of personal questions, he gave me a prescription for some antibiotics and “something else.”  He said he just wanted me to “try” these seratonin uptake inhibitors.  I said “what, aren’t those for depressed people, mentally ill people?”

He convinced me to experiment. After a couple weeks in a checkup, I went back and was doing much better on all fronts. Then, he asked me this question that was the turning point in my life:

“Now, what are you going to do to change your life?”

Clearly, what I was doing, was not working for me.  But I never knew I had the power to change. I just thought that this was the way it was supposed to be for me. I thought everyone had these troubles.

I thought so wrong…I could not see outside of my silo (maybe it’s a box for you)

I think that too many of us have too great of a tolerance for pain…

Anyway, to make the story short, I quit Fedex, started internet marketing, ended up getting divorced, became a hypnotherapist and now today, at 46, I’m happier and healthier than I’ve ever been. In the middle of all of that transformation, my golf game got good!  – Coincidence?  NO WAY!

You see, my doing all the things the golf instructors and magazines say and not getting anywhere was part of my overall silo. But I broke out of it…

What’s the point of all of this and how does it relate to your golf game?

I was recently told by my business coach, Brendon Burchard, that the main thing that us teachers have to offer is…


In other words, a look outside of our box, or silo that we have constructed around us for different areas of our life, and our game.  You can’t tell why your drives are hooking but your swing coach has a perspective to notice the mechanics of what you’re doing that sends it off track. That’s one way to fix it. I, on the other hand, would help you to simply go back to swinging the way you did that time you scored your best. You have those instructions inside you.

So…everything I’m doing here is basically like that. You might have noticed the pain of not playing golf like you know you can and so you go looking for answers.

I had been given one gift growing up that allowed me to finally escape the silo I had constructed. My parents were risk-takers and entrepreneurs. They also love to travel and see new things. The lessons I learned about going on adventures, trying new things and being curious saved me. My parents are no longer with us but I have a picture of them, in their 60’s, going whitewater rafting to remind me to always be open and to live!

The perspective I want to give you for your golf game and your life is this…

Every day, there’s a lot of brainwashing (hypnosis) going on with you and around you. Cultural, advertising, peers, and on and on. It has constructed and continues to reinforce your silo (or box).

YOU want to NOW WAKE UP and BE CONSCIOUS about everything you do from now on. YOU want to take control of the brainwashing process and immerse yourself in positive brainwashing. YOU want to be CURIOUS and OPEN about everything as in:  “I wonder how this can help me?”

YOU WANT to expand your vision of what you are capable of. YOU WANT to learn about how you operate and function in physical form and mental exercise.

Become a little adventureous yourself in this. Fun and passion do not go together with “stuck.”  Go into any new situation (especially perceived difficul ones)  with this idea: “I wonder what this will be like?”

I’m not telling you to totally let your guard down and open yourself to trouble or spending money on every golf gadget there is…not at all. You are smart and can keep your discernment at the same time.

If you’d have told me I would be a full-time hypnotist 10 years ago, I would have said “you’re crazy.”

You have already been doing hypnosis. Time to take control of the trance you already know how to do…

Do You Think Consistent With Your Golf?

I’ve got an amazing lesson for you here today on getting consistent.

Start off by thinking about, or better yet, writing down your top 3 reasons
for why you play golf.

Go ahead and do this, it will be worth your while. Don’t read ahead until you
really do this, it will be worth it for you…

Ok, got that down?

I’ve had a number of clients in my office lately that are having trouble with consistency
for their game.  I ask them what they think about before, during, and after the round with
respect to their game.

I hear all sorts of answers for each person…

They mention these types of typical thoughts:


1. I need to get out and practice more
2. I wonder if I can beat my playing partner/rival/best score
3. Wish I could have holed that putt on the 14th hole


1. This hole always gets me
2. This hole is my favorite
3. I need to get a new putter
4. I’m just not driving well today
5. I need this next shot/putt to shoot a ____


1. If weren’t for that out of bounds drive on the 6th, I’d have shot a _____
2. Why can’t I put together 18 good holes when I can have 9 good ones?
3. If only I would have __________
4. Dang, I’m so angry that I ______
5. I did pretty well with my ________ game.

One of the biggest secrets to playing consistent golf is to think consistently.

Yeah, yeah, I know, you’ve all heard it before…”play one shot at a time”
Yes, that’s good advice but easier said than done.

Now, a little test for you…

What’s the consistent thinking among those types of comments above?
Haven’t figured it out yet?  I put a few zingers in there to get you really thinking.

It’s “judgement” or “comparing” that is the consistent thinking in the examples above.

What if your consistent thinking was centered around one of the top 3 reasons you
play golf instead?

Which of those would you like to have running through all of your thoughts throughout
your golf life, on and off the course?

Would you have more fun and enjoy the game more? Would that keep you calm and
in the flow more?

I’m not asking you to do anything crazy here. Just suggesting that you think about the
things that are most important to you about this amazing golf with everything you do.

When I ask a golfer, “why do you play golf?” I rarely hear “to score lower.” And if I do, I then ask
him “what does scoring lower get for you?”  And he will answer with some sort of response that it
feels great and he carries that great feeling with him all week long.

So, it’s not really the low score…it’s the great feeling that is at the heart of the motivation to golf.

What if you could feed the feeling first with consistent thinking? The scores would go down as
a side benefit…

Think about it…

Greens and fairways,